Life. What's it all about?

You heard me. What is this stuff we call breathing, eating, living? Is it just that? Is it the basic necessities in life: food, shelter, clothing? Is it all the little things that give what we call reality meaning? A smile in the grocery store, a conversation with a friend, hopes and aspirations for the future. Perhaps it is all this, but maybe not. 

My fiance and I have just signed a bunch of papers committing us to a lease, renters insurance, and a load of utilities to go with. That seems pretty scary to us. The money, yes, but also the commitment. A commitment to a year of this thing we call life, living in one place, following certain rules, and making sure to make enough to pay for it all. A promise to give a certain amount of time to make a certain amount of money and to set aside a certain amount of that money to pay for the things we have just agreed to until July 27, 2013, when we have to make another decision about how life will be for the next certain amount of time. 

Is this a logical way to go? The people who rent to us seem to think so. It is nearly impossible to get a place without a full year lease. The hassle of moving from place to place over and over makes me think keeping life in one place for a while seems pretty good. But is that what life is really about? Making decisions, promising a little of you here, and a little of you there, until all is taken up and then the sum of theses things is your life? Perhaps not in its entirely, but that's ultimately what life ends up being for each individual, a set of choices.

Makes the choices seem all the more important doesn't it? One big mistake could cost quite a bit, don't you think? The wrong commitment, or the wrong offhand comment, and all could fall apart. You could go the wrong direction and end up with a life you could only pity. But at the same time, living in fear of these choices makes it not really living at all, doesn't it? If no choices are made, then perhaps not much is accomplished. Certainly not something that one could take ownership of and feel proud about.

Perhaps life is about embracing the challenges, and making the best choices we can. Sometimes that means taking an uncertain leap. Sometimes that means signing a scary piece of paper to a lease on an awesome little studio apartment on the south side of town. But to make choices is the only way one can truly move forward and start to live. I am afraid, but I choose life.