Leather Laptop Messenger Bag: Weekly Update

Hello everyone!

I have been working on a new bag design this week. It will be very similar to my Artist's Leather Messenger Bag, but this one will be slightly larger and thinner to allow for a laptop computer. Here is my inkscape mock up of how I am thinking the design will end up.

I have started on the prototyping process. Here are a couple pictures of the different versions I have come up with.

I think my husband's favorite part of my business is that he often gets the new products I come up with, and this bag is no exception. I am making it to be the right dimensions for his laptop and cord. Ideally, the final design would be made to order, and I could fit it to the dimensions of each individual customer's laptop.

The biggest challenge so far is to make an attractive looking pocket for the cord to fit in, as it is an awkward sort of thing to put in a bag. My husband insists that he would love for the charger to be in the flap area of the bag so that it it easy to grab when the bag is sitting open, so that is how I have designed it. I am still toying with the option of adding a gusset type piece stitched into the side of the flap (see flap B) to give it a bit more of an area for the charger to fit, or if I should just allow it to sit in a flat pocket (see flap A), where it will likely stretch the leather out a bit over time to create more room if it needs it. Hopefully this picture shows what I mean:

Also trying to decide if I need some snaps or a zipper to keep the pocket flap closed when not in use.

For this particular bag, my husband picked out some really nice 4oz buffed cowhide.

Other than that, I have been looking through some of my shoe listings and trying to update my item descriptions and really trying to think about what it truly important in my products. What makes it unique, what would make customers pick me over other options.

As you may or may not know, I am going to have a baby in the next month-ish, so I have been slowly removing listings, especially those that take a long time to make, in order to prepare for the inevitable break I will be taking from my shop. I will be putting it in full vacation mode probably end of next week or the next, depending on how things go. I am trying to use some of this time to refocus my goals so I can come back strong when the store is back up and running.

Anyhow, I'm supposed to post a link to this post on Facebook in about 4 minutes, so I better be done for now. Tune in next week! (If there is no next week, you can assume I am pushing out a baby or am very busy nesting and you can expect to get an update on that soon as I can!)

A Moccasin Marathon Success and Leather Boiling Fail: Weekly Update

Hello everyone!

Is is possible that I let two weeks slip away just like that? Apparently it is! Anyhow, here's a recap of what I've been up to the last 14 or so days.

Moccasin Marathon Success

First, let's start with the success, which I managed just yesterday. I made a goal for myself to finish an entire pair of shoes start to finish including the pattern all in one day. I usually work on one project for a couple hours and then switch to another task for a while, but I thought it would be interesting to know exactly how long a pair of shoes takes to make. Now this certainly wasn't ideal circumstances by any means, as I encountered some problems along the way which slowed me down a bit, but altogether it worked out ok. I started around 9:40 AM, and completed them just after 12:30 AM. Don't worry, I took about an hour and a half break for lunch and a break for supper and rejuvenation at the bookstore, so in all, it took around 8 & 1/2 hours to complete one pair of moccasins.

Problems I ran into (in case you were curious) included needing to stop and sharpen my very dull skiving knife, it being difficult at times to see what I was doing since I was working with a very dark colored leather, and working with a cheap awl for some of the stitching.

I bent my nice awl last week and am waiting on the replacement still, so there wasn't much I could do about that. Thankfully my slicing blade awl was still working just fine, so I was able to stitch the soles on easy-peasey as ever. However, I didn't want too big of holes on any of the upper, and so used a crappy awl I picked up from Hobby Lobby's jewelry department. What you need an awl for when making jewelry, I don't know, but I wouldn't recommend the one Hobby Lobby keeps on hand unless you are not going to be poking a lot of holes in one sitting.

I also think I need a good lamp to help with the visibility issues, though it is a little crazy how much more difficult it is to see the darker the leather is. I notice this difference when I do my messenger bags as well.

Skiving Explained

I thought it might be worthwhile to make a little picture to show the skiving process. I skive the edges around the heel bit I add to the back of the shoes for added stiffness, durability and to give it a bit different look than a traditional moccasin style. It is an important step; if you don't do it, it can lead to discomfort while walking because of the ridge it can create where the edge of your foot presses down. It may seem like something so thin wouldn't matter, but believe me, it does! There are lots of other reasons you might skive leather, but this is the main reason I end up needing to do it in my day-to-day activities. So basically, you use a REALLY SHARP knife to taper the edge of the leather from its current thickness to as thin as possible along the edge, making the edge angled, rather than square. The knife has to be razor sharp or this process is a giant hassle, and dangerous too, as it is easy to slip with the knife and gouge your fingers or other nearest body part instead. Here is a picture which I hope sort of shows it visually in an easily understandable way.

 

 

 Leather Hardening

Another project I worked on a bit ago was to heat up some of my veg-tanned leather in an effort to toughen and harden it for soles. My husband and I worked on this project together, and used this tutorial. We only left the leather in for 30 seconds, but we must have done it wrong, because in the end the leather was very brittle and cracked when I tried to bend it. We kept it at or under 180 degrees, so the heat wasn't too high. If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them!

Other Projects

Here are some pics of other projects I worked on this week. I made some moccasin boots for a customer, and made a bunch of veg tanned animal cutouts. I also made another messenger bag like this one.

Well that's it for now! I will try to return to a doing weekly update instead of the elongated version, since I think I might have missed some things, and this ended up with a lot of random stuff jammed into it. Happy Wednesday!

More Hedgehogs and Boots: Weekly Update

Hello everyone, might sound a bit repetitive, but this week I am again working on hedgehogs, moccasin boots and messenger bags! This week I finished up the screen printing on the messenger bag and delivered it Monday.

created an add design option on etsy

Got a couple orders for the hedgehog key chains, so I made a couple more this week. Also officially have a listing up for the hedgehog key chains. I think the pics turned out super cute. :)

see this on etsy :)

Experimenting with boiling and compressing leather for veg- tanned soles. I have a customer interested in leather soles, and I am wanting to make sure they last as long as possible. I had heard about compressing and hardening leather with water, so I thought that would be good to try out. Wayne (my husband) was very excited about this idea, so he tried placing the leather in very hot water (180F) for 30 seconds and then clamping it with a thin piece of wood we had laying around. It seems much harder now. I hope it will still be flexible enough and not brittle. Apparently if you do it too long it can get very brittle. I will need to purchase a wider piece when I do the real sole.

Also working on a pair of moccasin boots for a customer, and a pair for myself. Made the prototype for the customer, and am hoping to send it to him to make sure the fit is good before making the real thing. I am making a pair for myself to make sure I can scale the pattern well for the smaller female sizes before listing on etsy. The pattern seems fairly scalable, so I am happy about that!

Other than that, I have been going crazy making cute vector images in the hopes of translating them to leather in the future! Have a couple intended for screen printing and a couple for future key chain designs. You can see them if you like at my other blog, Cerulean's Picturebook. I also made some fall themed designs just for the heck of it. Getting excited for the fall!

Hedgehog Keychains and Moccasin Boots: Weekly Update

Hedgehog Keychain

I am working on a bag for a friend and it was mentioned that the recipient (his lady friend) liked hedgehogs, so I thought I would try to come up with a fun key chain. I am already adding a key hook to the bag, so I thought a key chain would be a nice addition.

He contacted me Monday afternoon interested in possibly a screen printed design on the bag, so here are a couple ideas I came up with!

Leather Messenger Bag Project

This past week I created a bag for a former coworker of mine. It is very similar to the one that I made for myself, though I added an interior pocket and buckles to the front. It was very rewarding to add in the zipper, since when you hand stitch everything anyway, zippers are much less a nightmare than when using a sewing machine.

I have been using Eco Flo brand Leathercraft Cement to hold everything together while I stitch on this project and have found that it works quite well for this. It doesn't seem to be the strongest of glues, so I don't think I would use it by itself, but it acts splendidly for keeping things nice and flat and smooth while stitching.

Weekly Update: Creating a pattern for the Moccasin Boots

Hello all.

Just had the flu for the past two days, so I haven't accomplished much this week yet. I have, however, managed to make a final pattern for the moccasin boots I was working on last week, and am all ready to have a go at the real thing! YAY!

November Projects Book

Hello!

It's been a while. I have been busy working on a new project lately and haven't managed to squeeze in a post in my regularly scheduled program!

I have created a new blog this last week to test out an idea that I have been developing over the past few weeks. 

One of my dreams in life has been to publish a book, notably a children's book, or at the least, an ILLUSTRATED book! I am pleased to announce that I am currently pursuing that endeavor online! Please leave feedback if you can think of any, because I need all the help I can get!

Once I have completed the story, I plan on printing a copy of it for myself, and possibly leaving a copy at a coffee store or two where I know the owners just for the heck of it.

My story is centered around Cerulean Jay, and the scarlet fox she sees in the woods on her walk to school each day. The time period/setting is supposed to be somewhat timeless, a fairytale type reality that could probably exist in some manner or another in real life.

Cerulean Jay is obviously the name of this blog, and the name of my Etsy store (and now also my Storenvy site), and is the brand that I am hoping to turn into a full time gig at some point in the future. I thought it would be fun, however, to delve deeper into the character of cerulean, since I always imagined my brand to sort of have an alter ego of sorts that would help to dictate what sort of products and articles and stories my brand would tell along the way, and this new blog/fairytale tries to do just that.

To start out at a base level. I thought I would share with you the meaning behind the name of this blog, ceruleanJAY, since it was the name of this one that prompted the story.

ceruleanJAY was initially created as a reference to my spirit animal. I met him in the woods one day during a particularly spiritual walk I took while looking for answers to my wordless questions. I found a tree that seemed to call to me, and I decided to climb into it and sit there a while to sit and think on nature. I felt the need to sing, and so I started softly humming an old spiritual, and as I did, I looked up onto one of the higher branches and a blue jay sat there looking at me. He didn't make a single sound, and we just looked at each other, me singing, and he silent. I felt a great connection to this bird and a great sense of peace and calm filled my heart and seemed to burst out of me. I slowly climbed out of the tree and the experience was over. The word cerulean, is a particularly bright shade of blue that I learned as a child when I would read the name on the sides of crayons. Cerulean was my favorite color for the longest time, so it only seemed fitting that the blue jay would take one the most beautiful, brightest shade of blue, and so that is where the name comes from.

So to add tho this base layer, I decided to create the character, Cerulean. Cerulean is a young school age girl who values family, loyalty, and friendship. She is a lover of nature and things with intrinsic value, such as the handmade cloak her mother sewed for her.

I plan to release a small part of the story each time, in the interest of getting the word out faster, and to ensure I don't get too overwhelmed with the project, or am paralyzed by fear the complete work won't be perfect.A little at a time makes for a much easier project!

Now that I have talked your ear off about my book, make sure to check it out! Without further ado, I present the new and hopefully noteworthy: cerulean + scarlet.

Extra Paintings

Every time I paint pictures for my Etsy store, I have a few that don't quite fit my standards for something I feel is worthy of selling. This last painting flurry was no exception.

Here is one I painted of my beautiful blue Betta. I wish he had turned out with a bit more depth, but alas, it was not to be. I might work on it a little more some time, but more often than not, when I put the paint brush down and walk away from a painting, it is very hard for me to pick up where I left off and continue again. This one might just be worthy though!

The other one is a play off one of my all time favorite paintings Fox and Moon I made last winter. That one was a winter print while here it is a late autumn theme I went for with the big ole harvest moon. I think close ups never seem to work out for me.

Anyway, I thought I would share, because although I probably won't be posting them anywhere for sale any time soon, but I wanted to share them for fun!

Have a lovely evening!

Be yourself: don't let others decide who you are

I remember when I was about 10 years old or so I was at a friend's sleepover party and a girl I had never met until that night told me at some point in the evening, 

When I first saw you, I thought you were a geek.

I didn't really think much of it and made a joke about how could I possibly be a geek, and that they wore big ugly glasses or something like that and continued on with the festivities.

Later my friend pulled me aside and told me,

I thought that was really mean what she said. About you being a geek. She can say mean things sometimes. 

She meant it as a really nice, sweet caring thing to say, to show that she was on my side.

But it was at that moment that I realized that I might not be ok just being me,that maybe people wouldn't like me if I was just me. Maybe that girl really did think I was a geek. Maybe she had intended to make fun of me. Maybe I was not good enough if I was just being myself. Maybe I was no good at all. This memory has stuck with me all these years and I can still picture it happening, how I was hiding behind the door giggling when this girl arrived, where I was in the house when my friend was telling me about what she thought about what that girl said. I think I lost some of myself that day. I lost my carefree freedom you feel as a child. I lost some of my essence. I had to be someone else. Someone better.

I want to claim this childhood innocence back. I want to be me again. I want to know that maybe as long as I aim to be a good, honest, trustworthy and honorable person, that I am ok just being me. If I stand up for what is right. It doesn't matter if I don't fit into the box people expect me to live inside of. I can't be perfect, no one can. But I can be me.

Something my grandma said to me last week really brought it together for me. She was saying how happy she was to see me and how she was sorry she wasn't so good at calling or texting or writing as she would like, and I said, "That's ok I'm not very good at that keeping in touch either."

And she said,

I know Amy, I know you. and thats ok, because we are together now and we can enjoy this time now and know we are thinking about each other and that we love each other no matter where we are or what we are up to.

And I think I have made a lot of people mad at me at various times because I am not very good about calling back or texting or emailing. I suck at it. I try, but it just isn't natural for me to keep up on stuff like that. I know its important, but I just can't do it consistently. But my grandma called me out on it and said, I know that you are no good at it, but I accept you anyways. Granted, it is probably easier for her to understand since she has the same struggle, but she accepts that that is who I am and that it doesn't mean I am a bad person, but just that I have a weakness and that is ok. It doesn't mean I don't still try to get better and keep up on it, just means I am not a complete failure just because I am not perfect.

If I do ever get around to writing a letter, I give it 110%. It is probably 3 pages long, and has cramped writing at the end to fit it all. If I do text someone, it means I am not in the middle of work or a conversation with someone else, and that I am committed to talking with the person I am texting for as long as I can.

But this is not about excuses or explanation, or justifications. And this isn't about my ability to write letters or make phone calls. It isn't about wearing the wrong outfit, being too shy at the party, or making a mistake at work. This is about every one of these fears I have had about what box people are putting me into since I was 10 years old and realized that boxes existed and that they weren't always good. Boxes that made me ugly, boring, stupid or incompetent.

This is about acceptance. If I forget and I mess up and I fail completely, the sun will still rise and set, and I am still me and that is ok. Maybe I am a geek. Maybe it doesn't matter. This is a box someone else is placing me into. They can try to put me there, but I can only be there in their mind. I can just hop out of the box and continue on my way, just being me. I have lived embarrassed and ashamed and fearful of others opinions for far too long. 

Living in other people's boxes, conforming to what they want you to be, is turning yourself into a robot. You are simply following programs others set out for you. You don't work well this way. You will either die and become a robot, or you will eat away at yourself until there is nothing left of you. You will grow to hate you. Whenever I fall into the trap of someone else's box, I don't feel good. I hate myself. I judge myself. I should have been better, I should have been smarter. I hurt myself and everyone around me when I get this way. I can't get better or change because I am fixated on my failure. Regain your identity.

STOP FEAR. BE YOU. You may surprise yourself.

Regency Period Shoes!!

I have once again been PINspired! Here are a couple exquisite shoes I found on Pinterest that date back to the late 1700s, early 1800s, AKA The Regency Time Period!! (Read: Jane Austin's Pride and Prejudice time period)

The link to this one just sent me HERE?? But look at the gorgeous detail on these simple leather soles!

From 1810s. American, featured at the Met Museum Online

These shoes were worn once, at a wedding. Beautiful!

Some of them get quite fancy! Image from (MFA Boston)

Had to include these! I had very similar shoes a year or two ago and they were my favorite ever! (the met again)

Unfortunately, Pinterest provided beautiful pictures, but the links the pictures sent me on a dead end on how I could conjure up my own pair! :(

Finally, I stumbled across this lovely tutorial!

link to the lovely miss charlotte's tutorial!

Seems pretty simple, and similar to the blue ballet flats tutorial I did about 6 months ago or so. So,I will plan to try making some of these over the next few weeks, and I will show you how it turns out! Possibly tutorial in the future....

Hope you are inspired as I am! Happy shoemaking!!!

Super Rad Tiny Houses

tiny houses for the (previously) homeless

So Pinterest is being dumb and not letting me pin the awesome things I am finding in my travels on the internet, so I decided to post a few pictures here for a work-around to the ole' Pinterest machine.

For a while now, Wayne and I have been really interested in the Tiny House Movement. I don't know if its an actual movement or not, but people who like to live in super small spaces, because, well, we maybe don't need as much space as we have led ourselves to believe. A movement back toward simpler times, where we didn't need a gadget for each and every thing we do. They have their own blog. That means it must be a movement, right?

Besides, even if you want to be all modern and stuff, you can really simplify a lot down to just your phone and computer these days right? This isn't just for the Little House on the Prairie people. City folks can get excited about this stuff too. :)

Anyhow, I just saw two mini sizes houses on the Tiny House Talk Blog that I just thought were really neat. First one, because who doesn't love gorgeous simple rustic looking stained wood panelling and circle shaped windows? Also Hawaii?? This one is 200 sq ft and features a loft area for the bed and custom fit furniture. I only wish there was a picture of the kitchen and bathroom!

link to this beauty!

The second one is a mobile tiny littl thing, at a miniature 160 sq ft (not including 2nd floor). The thing I like about this next one, is not only does it look super cute and neat and tidy, but the people claim that they have already been living in it for a month! I want a home that looks like this after a month! I am much more prone to leaving messes, but maybe if it was as small as theirs I would have less stuff? One can hope. Here is their adorable kitchen.

link to their home!

 And their cozy 2nd floor/loft bedroom! 

link to article

Does anyone else want a tiny house now? 

Ballet Shoe Tutorials

Hey, so shoemaking must be catching on as an obscure side hobby, because I was fortunate enough to stumble across two pretty legit shoemaking tutorials as of late! Both would be featuring a ballet flat style shoe, similar to the tutorial I did a few weeks back. However, I thought I would share these other resources with any budding shoemakers that may be reading this for further techniques and tricks for making beautiful, basic, and still classy shoes.

Shoe 1: Kris Degraeve's DIY Shoes

Pros: Look very professional, seems easy to make, Kris seems to know her stuff on materials and such
Cons: Potentially short lifespan due to heavy reliance on adhesives and use of card stock in construction, need to destroy an existing pair of shoes to get pattern

A really good looking shoe in the end. Looks like anything you could buy at a store which is a huge plus. I think if you plan to have a typical lifespan for this type of shoe, i.e. its made of cloth and so probably wont last years unless you only wear them on special occasions, then this is a really good tutorial to follow, and I will probably attempt it some time in the future. Anyhow, here is a picture from around the middle of the tutorial series. Link is to the beginning of series.

Shoe 2: Tree Peeps Sewn Slippers

Pros: provides a good fit even if you don't want to spend hours perfecting a pattern, promotes recycling (she uses old corduroy pants),
Cons: doesn't provide any info on soling options, potentially irritating on ankles, no real pattern provided

I think this lady is awesome. Something about her. She seems like someone I could get along with. I could be wrong. Anyhow, not the most professional shoemaker in the world, but helpful to see someone else who is not a super design student of fashion guru, or a mastercraftsperson who is still making a pretty neat shoe that I would totally wear.

Bonus round: Bespoke Shoe Unlaced

So if you are serious about shoemaking in the long run, and interested in advancing your abilities, I would highly recommend this blog. I didn't know half of what they were talking about at first, as it is pretty technical, but I have to say it has challenged my shoe making and pattern making process.

Also provided below are some youtube channels that I occasionally waste far too much of my time watching, but sometimes it is helpful to see it as a video instead of photographs and words. WARNING: you may become addicted!

Sveta Kletina awesome pattern making tutorials
Marcell Mrsán I was sold on this 7 minute speed shoemaking video
Andrew Wrigley Really detailed bajillion part series on shoemaking

Pancheros the Bamboo Shrimp Sheds His Skin!

So now that we have had our aquarium stocked with fish for, oh, about a week, Pancheros has decided that he is ready to shed his skin!! I wish I had gotten some pictures as it was happening but I was so surprised by what I saw I just watched, dumbfounded.

After looking into it, apparently they get a new skin every month or so, so it is really not as rare as I thought it was, but I am still excited that I got to watch on his very first skin shedding. I think the interesting part probably lasted only about a minute or two, so I was definitely looking at the exact right time. Here are some pictures of my shrimp just doing what comes natural to him. Bear with me I am still learning how to photograph an aquarium!

pancheros poses with his old wardrobe

ahh, that feels better

here pancheros is disconnecting the exoskeleton/skin thing

I like to think that he was so relieved that he actually had a cool aquarium to live in, he was ready and felt safe enough to take on life in a new skin, but I feel like this is wishful thinking on my part. He seems happy though :)

He spent the next several hours stretching in his new skin. It almost seemed like he had to fold out all his new parts and get them all stretched and ready for use. He is also able to crawl all over the log much easier now. Probably hard to move around in a crusty old, worn out shell of a skin.

Aquarium!

So... my husband and I have gotten completely consumed with our new project, setting up an aquarium! We are being all legit and have a piece of found driftwood, java moss live plants, and we impatiently allowed the tank 3 weeks to cycle and establish the plants, and now we bought our fish!

We got guppies because they are livebearers, meaning that they will make babies while living in our tank! How cool is that? We also got a bamboo shrimp who sits at the bottom of the tank where the water flows toward him (from the filter) and constantly eats things out of the water floating past him. He can also jump up on our log and clean away the white fuzz on our driftwood piece.

We also had a small jar (about 1 1/2 gallon) that we placed some extra java moss in and got a beautiful blue veil tail betta to go in there. We made him a little bloated when he first got here, possibly from overfeeding, possibly just general stress of new home/water composition, but now he is back to his chipper self and always swims up to the side of the tank to say hello when we sit next to him on the couch.

Pictures below! 

Shrimp is in front of wood piece. The three guppies are somewhat visible in front as well.

Mr. Shrimp. His unnofficial name is Pancheros.

This is a pretty crappy photo, he is a really pretty midnight blue color with a silvery blue tail.

 Anyways, I will post some good stuff soon! I have a flip flop tutorial I am pretty excited about!

April Inspiration

I am always inspired by the art that I find on my Pinterest. Recently, there have been incredible pieces popping and I thought I would like to share a few of my favorites! (with links if you like them of course!)

Chloe's Dress

by Sara Riches, Australia
I love the pattern in the skirt and the drips from the ink! This lady claims to be a stay at home mom. This makes me twice as impressed at how many beautiful pieces she has on her website.

Colored Pencil Fall Girl 2012

Morgan Davidson, Florida
This is colored pencil people. I don't know how people do this with colored pencil.

after nature

Niken Anindita, Indonesia 
I love the beautiful aurora borealis. And the lantern. And everything about this print. This artist really knows how to use light.

Dragonflies - Night

Jimmy Lawlor
Beautiful concept, captivating.

And where would I be without a bit of shameless self-promotion? I can't claim to be nearly as talented a any of these wonderful artists, but here is a new painting I am pretty excited about!

Girl's Imagination while Reading

Amy Rowcliffe

Whale Shoes Update Suprise!

I think I am breaking some rules by posting two blogs in one day, I like to have them spread out throughout the week, but I don't care! I have to show you my exciting new project!

Soo... I may have gotten carried away and stayed up half the night making these little guys.. But really, who could stop when they are in the middle of making super cute whale shoes? Seriously. WHALES!!! Anyways, here is a lovely picture of my latest cobblering endeavor, and I will be spending the next few days cranking out a tutorial on how you can make your very own! And I promise, no complicated pattern drafting this time! These are really rather simple to make, and everyone needs a few dozen ballet flats laying around for each and every outfit that awaits. Am I right?

Ok, enough talk, here are the goods!

I haven't trimmed the sole from the left shoe there yet, (at right)

Have a lovely day, and happy cobblering!!!

So this is my Life: MAKER

Hello there.

I have been a posting fend the last couple weeks and I thought I would share with you my inspiration for the flurry of activity on my normally sluggish, sporadic blog. I have spent the last two years doing some serious soul searching. I have tried things I liked, and things I didn't. And I found that I really like making shoes :)

Two years ago, I was finishing up my super senior year in college, and was terrified. I had just gotten engaged to my wonderful husband, Wayne, and we were both trying to figure out where life was headed. I spent hours job searching, and none of the jobs sounded even remotely like what I had expected four year of college education would set me up for. As an established introvert and homebody, I was terrified I had majored in the wrong thing, (marketing) and that my life was over. Each job sounded more dismal than the last, and I was afraid I was stuck on a path where I could never be happy, and never succeed. My life was in limbo and I was afraid I would be stuck forever.

I spent the next couple months focused on graduation, and planning a wedding, hoping that things with the career would fall into place eventually. Out of desperation, I applied for a job at Burgie's Coffee and Tea Company, a local coffee shop. I got the job, and hated it. I did everything wrong, I was expected to be friendly and outgoing ALL THE TIME, and I couldn't quite get with the rhythm of the busy coffee shop. The only thing that kept me going was the notion that if I stayed 6 months, I would either get the hang of it or that I would be there a socially acceptable amount of time that I could move on and get a real grownup job.

And right around the six month mark, I started to get better and enjoy my job. I was put on "sandwich station," one of the more labor intensive shifts at the cafe, and I found out that I enjoyed keeping busy, the pressure to always be chatty was lifted, since I was working on so many things at a time, and the more socially adept could be left to the conversing. I also realized how much I LOVED making sandwiches! There was something to the challenge of cranking out six or seven sandwiches at once, but I realized that I just love MAKING things. And I thought back on things, and realized that that was always me. I learned to mix paint colors at five, how to sew at seven or eight, I was drawing in 2 point perspective by ten. I always enrolled in art classes, loved the hands on parts in biology, and loved making extravagant meals once in a while.

Its not like I didn't realize this before. I always have thought of myself as creative and artistic. Hell, I double majored in art until I transferred and had to drop out of art or retake all my classes (grrr, IA state). I had just somehow denied myself the possibility of doing something with this (besides possibly graphic design, bleck) solely because I believed I couldn't do it.

But I am a MAKER. I sometimes doubt my creativity, or my artistic talent, but I know deep down now that I am a maker, and I always will be. And I won't succeed in life or be happy unless I am busy making in some way or another. So I decide to stop half assing that part of my like, and go for it. So I challenged myself to make 12 pairs of shoes this year (one a month) and see if I can figure out how to get good enough to turn it onto a business. Maybe I will make shoes in the future, maybe I won't. But I know if I don't at least try, I will regret it the rest of my life. I am going to record my progress here, and if you people like it, awesome, if you don't thats fine too.

If anyone can learn something from this post, it should be to remember who you are, and let yourself do something that allows you to shine. And obvious and overused idea, I know, but one that does not hurt to be said again. It is incredible sometimes how many times I have to see the same pattern or idea over and over before it sinks in as fact sometimes.

I still make sandwiches at Burgie's (and drinks, and people's days) but I am making things. Maybe not the most exciting things, but things that matter. And I think I will continue doing so and be happy there. Some days it sucks and everyone if mean and crabby, but some days I am invincible. And I get to MAKE things.If in the future, I can find something to do where I run the show, that would be awesome, and I will do that instead.

But for now, I will make shoes, and sandwiches.